as of now

Since I'm just now starting my blog in the middle of the year, I have a lot to catch you up on. It's been such a long year so far and so much has happened already. I guess starting with January would be the most logical thing to do here.


January:
In January, my whole family experienced a great loss. The head of our family, my great grandmother, passed away and was buried. It's been six months and I still haven't really come to terms with the fact that she is gone and isn't coming back. I miss her so much and there is so much I wish I could tell her everyday. When I think about how she won't be at my wedding or there when my kids are born, it's always so overwhelming. I burst into tears every time. Even if I simply cross a picture of her, I can literally feel my gut drop and my throat tighten. It's hard to think about it and it makes me sad because she deserves to be thought about everyday. I wonder how long it will be before I can look at pictures and smile at the memory of her.
Another major event from January was the sinking ship I called a relationship finally sunk and hit rock bottom. I'm actually so thankful for this, because it was such a poisoning relationship. Not only was it unhealthy for me mentally (all the fighting, mental abuse, brain washing, deception, etc) but it was also unhealthy for me physically. There were times where physical abuse actually was a problem. That one relationship that I fought so hard for, was the cause for every one of my other relationships in life failing. When I was finally done with Austin, I felt so free and liberated. I felt like I could actually be a person again.

February:
As for February, something very magical happened. I began a relationship with a guy I had been talking to for a couple of months. We just seemed to click so well and understood each other. Everything I needed from a relationship were things he desired to provide. And vice-versa. So we made our relationship official on February 5th, 2011. We've only been together for four months now, but it feels like it's been so much longer. Like we're old souls just enjoying youth together. We're so excited to begin life and take on the world together. I know that we will conquer the entire world together someday and I've never been more excited for something in my life.

Until Now:
Nothing much of anything happened in March or April. The only real thing I can think of for April is I got a job at the fast food restaurant Krystal. It only lasted for about two months because my manager was a complete psycho. She wanted to call me in every single day I had off and if I couldn't make it in, she would cut my hours for the next week down to about 15-20 (when I usually work almost 40). I had to request a few days off for things like Brandon's Surprise Party (June 18th) and July 4th weekend because we're going to Panama City. My boss texted me and told me that if I didn't come in she was going to take away all my days off (when she had already told me I could have them off). I woke up late that day, after the time she needed me to come in, and explained to her how I felt this was unfair of her. She felt it was only right to take me off the schedule for a whole week. So I told her I wouldn't be working there anymore.

I'm going to apply for a job at Sonic tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I will get the job since my brother already works there and he's in really tight with the management. He talked to them and they said they would most likely hire me. I'm pretty scared to work there, but I'm sure I will be fine. Everyone there seems a lot more friendly than the people at Krystal's did.